mushinnoshin

…is that the frequent making of fists is an incredibly effective way to remember to keep your fingernails trimmed.

Yeah, that’s how little I have to talk about right now. Well, there are things, but all the good thoughts are sloshing around in the muddiest depths of my brain, clearly in no shape to go out in public.

I saw Trouble the Water tonight — excellent, deeply moving film. I think the tag line sums it up nicely –

It’s not about a hurricane… it’s about America

I mean just damn, what more can be said? Katrina showed us our worst and our best all at once, and they’ve captured it masterfully in this documentary centered around two survivors who camcorded their own documentary as the disaster hit.

On other subjects, I finally watched the debate when I got home from the flick. What’s striking me is all the pundits in the after talking about McCain “winning on points” and such, and I gotta say I just don’t see it. Sure, he dominated the agenda, and spent the whole night throwing punches — but if the punches don’t land, what have you got?

Which ties to a greater metaphor I think for the campaign as a whole. The chattering classes want a boxing match, and their adrenaline starts to pump whenever they see McCain throw a punch, and time after time they throw up their hands and groan in exasperation when Obama declines to punch back, afraid that he’s losing, never seeing the fight for what it is.

Look — I know we’d all love to see that jab to the chin that takes McCain to the mat, but the problem is, Obama can’t afford to pummel McCain. First for the minor reason that as a black man, he treads a fine line when showing aggression. Like it or not, right or wrong, there are a whole lot of subconscious fears about “the angry black man” that he can’t afford to engage. But even more importantly — to be the sort of leader he wants to be, to bring the country together in the way that we need, to make sure that come January 2009 he doesn’t have half the country bitterly engaged against him — he has to win this thing by being the bigger man, not the meaner one.

After the debates, just like during the Palin bounce, the pundits criticize him for failing to give them a boxing match. But Obama’s not a boxer — he’s a martial artist. Don’t waste energy on punches that won’t work. Block when you have to, but prefer tai sabake. Use your opponents movements against themselves, sometimes a mere inch worth of shifting is all it takes to send your opponent careening.

After 90 minutes of bluster, anger, and flailing strikes that never seem to land, McCain was exhausted, flustered, his knuckles bruised from striking the wall. And that’s why the polls tell us Obama won the match, no matter how many “points” Pat Buchanan thinks McCain won.

Sensei teaches us that the ideal fight is won with one single strike. I trust Obama to hit McCain with a solid, pinpoint blow to the solar plexus on November 4th.

weirdness

everything is just — unsettling. I’ve got a nice buzz on — partly vodka, partly oxycodone.

But I should be nearly unconscious, which as you can see, I’m not.

It’s been a weird and shitty week, as you are aware.

tomorrow, things should start to get back to normal. I suppose I’ll go back to karate, though that’s going to be an ordeal unto itself. It’s times like this that I really wish classes were on Tuesdays’s — the drama of being Monday sometimes makes it harder than it needs to be.

The doc wants me to start physical therapy tomorrow. I don’t know that I can afford it. Besides, i think that encroaches on sensei’s territory.

I’m not sure that I want to go back to karate. I *will*, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure I want to. It hasn’t really been *fun* for a very long time, and I’m mostly fueled now by having the goal, and by not wanting to fail. Which is a poor motivator when you lose the will to give a shit about anything.

Which I haven’t *entirely* lost. But it took a severe blow this week.

Somehow, last night, on the way out of the Schermerhorn after hearing a masterful performance of Verdi’s Massa da Requiem, I sliced the fuck out of my finger. I have no idea how, i just felt a throbbing and noticed I was bleeding. The gauze on my finger now does as much if not more than the booze to make this typing difficult.

By the time I noticed my finger bleeding, I had bled a good bit onto my sortof-white pants. So I did a whole dance to wash the pants and get the blood out before the stain set. Meanwhile I played with Genghis Kat. Then I pulled the pants out of the wash, and there was all this new blood on them! Shit, the cat got my wrist. Gotta wash the pants again. So much for being green and efficient.

Saw a trailer at the Belcourt today for a movie about Genghis Khan. Haven’t decided if I should let the cat see it. He’s already mean enough without giving him any ideas. Yet, he really should know his roots.

Boarding Gate is sort of a stupid and pointless thriller. But the scene where it all goes down? Fucking HOT. And I’m not even into any of that shit. [Heh. Ridley says basically the same thing. Only he says it much better, of course.]

Jon Stewart was excellent Friday night. As I said to Kate, “not 80 dollars worth of good, but still very good. Easily 50 dollars worth of good.”

Disturbing, retarded, racist screeds about fearing an Obama presidency on the grounds of not liking gangsta rappers? Yeah, I was a little shocked to see one on the Nashville Gothic board of all places. I thought goths were supposed to love all things black.

Remind me to buy a back yard compost bin

Bah. I’ve had Carmina Burana on in the background and it’s over. Seems like a good excuse to pour another drink. Let’s try to make this one stiff enough to knock us the fuck out.

Seems to help get you out of my head.

Awesome, in one night I can give example and counterexample to the ancient question of irony;

it’s not ironic that my knee injury forced me to miss karate tonight.

It is ironic that this leaves me home on a night the television happens to deliver both a show called “Bones”, and Doc Opera about an alcoholic curmudgeon with a bum leg.

I add, “I think I threw my knee out playing piano”.

Got my 2nd Degree Brown Belt today. It was actually pretty late, I should have been there in January, but I had my sabbatical in December which set me back a month, plus another month or two to get back where I was. Still not there really, but enough so to pass.

Anyway, onward.

I guess my little holiday bender is officially over now. Well it was fun while it lasted.

Lest you think otherwise, there actually was a greater purpose. 2007 turned out to be a mildly shitty year for me. Mildly in that nothing much happened, the problem was just that, well, nothing much happened.

I spent most of 2005 and 2006 working very hard on my self improvement trip, standing on a tripod of karate, yoga, and meditation. By 2007 I was becoming tired and frustrated, feeling like I’m doing all this work and getting nowhere.

But I *had* been making progress, on many fronts. It’s just the sort of gradual process that’s hard to appreciate one day to the next, especially when the ultimate goal still seems so far away. Hell, understanding exactly what the goal is still seems far away.

Anyway as the year waned on I found myself slipping more and more. Skipping meditation with the Tibetans. Wanting to skip karate & yoga classes — and watching the clock even when I made it to class. Skipping or half-assing my morning practices, and going to bed later so as to wake later so as to have an excuse. Backslid on my ongoing attempts to reduce & eventually give up meat consumption. I only read one book the whole year, and that’s only because I read most of it on the plane to and from California — and I still owe Lesley a book report :)

So by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, and with the added incentive of struggling with a knee injury, I figured maybe the best way to keep from going over a cliff was to take the car into a ditch. No karate, no yoga, no meditation — no concerns, no limits, no discipline. Sensei often tells us, as a metaphor to illustrate that we can only make progress in small steps, that we have to “fill the cup, empty the cup, fill the cup, empty the cup” … my thinking is that sometimes you even have to wash the cup, dry it, apply a new coat of silicone sealant, and let it cure for a few weeks. Or maybe even just smash it and buy a new one.

So now I feel like hell and look like hell and I’ve got a couple of pounds holiday beer cheer to work off, but at least I can again appreciate *not* feeling like this.

And I woke up bright and early, and did my full morning practice.

Pro:

1. It would be good for me
2. Having been very busy and having kept late nights, I overslept every day this week and only did about half of my usual daily practice
3. I skipped last week due to the Buddhist festival
4. I will feel justified to reward myself with my usual post-yoga Chinese takeout for lunch

Con:

1. Yesterday’s Peace Walk left me with a mild sunburn on my head, which won’t do well for headstands
2. I did already get in a third night of exercise for the week with a karate Fight Night last night
3. I’m still in mourning that my amazing and beautiful teacher is out for a few weeks getting married, to someone who, sadly, isn’t me (I kid! I kid! … well, mostly ; )
4. Too much coffee this morning has my stomach a bit queasy
5. I think spending the next few hours sitting on my ass, perhaps catching up on my Netflix, will be more likely to put me in a place to get some more painting done this afternoon
6. In the time it took me to write out this post, I missed the window to get there on time, and class is actually starting at this very moment.

I think that last one’s the winner.

Yup, as of today I’m a brown belt! Sort of a major milestone I suppose. A little over two years in, with two years to go towards black — I guess it’s a bit like becoming a junior in high school.

Well, I made it this far, the goal is in sight and there’s no turning back. But holy shit that next kata is a beast.

Let me start by pointing out for obvious reasons that I don’t think an arrest record means jack in and of itself — not when our laws have little basis in reason or rightness. Further I do believe that even those who commit real crimes should not necessarily suffer the burden of their history forever, they can be redeemed. All that said, in the name of a fully informed electorate, anyone voting in the 16th District council race needs to be aware of this regarding Tony Tenpenny. I do support the incumbent Anna Page, but just because I’ve met them both and Anna seems clearly the more competent, and I’ve seen via the neighborhood listserv just how hard she is working for the Flatrock communities. Tenpenny has been invited on the same list to make his pitch and tell us why we should support him, and so far he has not done so.

In other news, come hear the Mayoral candidates this Tuesday, June 12th:

Flatrock Heritage Foundation, Inc.
Nolensville Road Community Partnership
Thompson Lane – Murfreesboro Road Action Group

Invite you to a Mayoral Candidates’ Forum

NEW SONG CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP CHURCH
2949 Nolensville Pike
In the Main Auditorium
(Back of Building)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
7:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M.

I’m not sure if I’m going to make it or not. I can’t skip karate this week, but Wednesday and Thursday our lamas the Khenpos are in town doing teachings at the Buddhist center, which leaves me with karate on Tuesday. Still I really do need to do the Wednesday class (sensei may not teach Tuesday’s class, and I need to see him because I’m belt testing this month), so I may have to skip the Khenpos which means I could do the Tuesday forum after all. BUT I’ve also got a dentist appointment Wednesday which isn’t going to leave in much mood for karate. Argh, what to do, what to do…

Oh also, while we had the last of the subarea 11 planning meetings on May 31, the panning department is now taking us into a series of meetings to work on a Nolensville Pike Corridor “Detailed Neighborhood Design Plan”. The first meeting will be 6:00 PM, Monday, June 18th, also at the New Song Church. I’ll probably have to miss that one for karate as well. But there will be two more meetings as part of this process, Tuesday July 10th and Tuesday July 31st, both also at 6PM at New Song.